In Defense of Mommy Magic

A few months ago, when I actually started writing this post, there was an article making it's way around social media hubs about how the author is done making her kid's childhood magical. It talked about the pressure moms put on ourselves these days to create picture perfect childhood moments and memories that are Pinterest and blog worthy, and that the motivations behind these efforts might be less about the children, and more about creating a perfect mommy image.

me and my mommy

There was some talk that the birthday parties and craft activities are purely for the moms's benefit, as the children are too young to remember these activities. Well, I know my mom created lots of magic in my childhood, and I do remember some of if from before the age of three. She used to cut up various shapes out of colored construction paper and let me paste them on to another sheet, encouraging my creativity. I know I had plenty of time to be curious on my own as well, as I'm often reminded with stories of messes created with honey, oatmeal and toilet paper. But the thing I can actually remember happening in the house I lived in until I was three is playing those construction paper shapes my mom cut for me.

She planned elaborate birthday parties, and when I was old enough, I joined in the planning. As soon as Christmas was packed away, we would spend the next three months inventing games like Garfield Bingo made from copies of comics saved from the paper, and crafting individual favors like personalized autograph books for my celebrity themed birthday party. We would shop together at discount stores for the perfect assortment of prizes to be awarded for all of our games.

one of those embarrassing photos

The birthday magic continued well into adolescence, and even to this day. On my 16th birthday, my mom conspired with my best friends to embarrass me throughout the school day. Yes, with her, magic does sometimes go hand in hand with humiliation! She printed a selection of baby and toddler photos of me, wrapped them up, and had a different friend hand me one along with a balloon, at the beginning of each class all day long. Of course, the rule was that everyone around needed to see baby Jenny. By the end of the day, I was walking around with an enormous bunch of balloons, and was loving every minute of the attention.

decorating my own cake at 38 years old

I always decorated my own birthday cakes, as well as making the games, favors and invitations. Last year, my mom was visiting on my 38th birthday. She baked my favorite cake and then sat me down at the dining room table with frosting and a variety of decorations, excited to see what I would come up with.

So, you see, even to this day, I appreciate the magic that my mom has always brought to my life.

I understand that kids need free time to use their own imaginations, to explore and be creative, but they also need to feel special and loved, and to know that their parents will go to special efforts just for them. There is a lot of pressure on women to have it all—to create magic childhoods, gourmet clean food meals, keep a perfectly naturally cleaned and organized house, all while maintaining a gratifying career outside the household. While I might appear to have the crafty/artsy/picture perfect birthday party side of things under control from what you see on this blog, let me just tell you, that I do not excel in all of these areas. For way too long, dinners around here were frozen chicken and frozen sweet potato fries on a cookie sheet with frozen broccoli in the microwave. Clean laundry sits in baskets for days, and I am the queen of Clorox wipes.

I am a designer, an artist and a crafter, and I enjoy creating magic for my son using my skill set hoping to instill an appreciation for these things in him—something we can enjoy together for years to come. Magic can come from a lot of places. A mom who is an excellent chef can create shared cooking experiences. A mom who is an athlete can shoot hoops or kick the soccer ball with her kids. All of these things are magical.

I share these magical moments here because I enjoy searching resources just like this one to get new ideas, and I imagine there are people out there like me who feel the same way. I want other moms to be inspired and to know it doesn't have to be difficult to create a little crafty magic, and it doesn't have to be perfect. Do I have a secret hope that my efforts will be considered worthy of a pin? Would I love to be able to make a business out of my artsy/crafty designerness someday? Sure. Is this my main motivation for creating magic for Leo? Not in the least, or I would be a heck of a lot more up to date with sharing what we've been up to than I am.

So, here's to Mommy Magic. Because, isn't seeing a gleeful smile as the result of our efforts one of the best gifts of parenthood after all?

#100happydays

I did it! I completed the 100 Days of Happy Challenge, and I disappeared from here for almost as long. I guess I've been very busy being happy. Ironically, one of the things that I learned while documenting all those happy moments, is that it's much more satisfying to simply enjoy those moments, rather than worrying so much about documenting those moments. 

Now, of course, I still have a head full of blog posts that I'd like to write one of these days. Maybe I'll get to them someday...when it's not so beautiful outside.

I really enjoyed this challenge. I learned a lot. I think I do, like many, spend too much time in front of screens, obsessing over various forms of social media and other mindless apps. So, why was it so satisfying to use this method to document happiness?

For starters, because I knew that I needed to have a picture of a happy moment to post at the end of the day, each morning, I would think about my day to identify the moments I thought had potential. This created a feeling of anticipation as the day progressed. I'd say, the anticipation of happiness puts one in a pretty good frame of mind to face the day!

Secondly, as much as I am trying to be in the moment more often, the action of consciously pausing to document happiness gave me the opportunity to recognize and embrace it. Life as a working mom with a toddler can go by in such a blur, I often don't know what day it is, let alone why I walked into a room half of the time. It's easy to get caught in the grind and forget to appreciate how awesome life truly is. 

But you know what? Life is pretty awesome. 

With that...here's a recap of my 100 Happy Days & some the common themes that make me happy.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 getting lost 

in my work

 

playing 

dress up

 

family time

 

 

coloring 

 

 

 

this guy 

 

 

 

making 

my home 

 

flowers 

 

 

watching 

leo explore

& learn 

 

being in 

the water  

 

artsy crafty design 

 

 

family time 

 

margaritas